Not so fun

My post today is not a fun one but since my blog is sort of my journal, I wanted to post about it. WARNING, it's a little gross and personal so you don't have to read it. On Sunday morning I started miscarrying. At first I kind of hoped I was maybe bleeding just a little and everything would be fine. By Sunday night I was bleeding a lot and having lots of cramping. I didn't sleep well because I was having contractions all night that felt like after-birth pains. Monday I woke up feeling pretty well and wasn't contracting too much and wasn't really bleeding so I decided I felt well enough to go to my two visiting teaching appointments I had scheduled last week. Everything was fine until I had to stand up and then it really started. I bled all over my friends living room carpet and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Mind you that I did have on one of Anna's diapers and that wasn't helping. I got to the bathroom as fast as I could and was in there for 30 minutes trying to clean up. I just kept bleeding and bleeding. All the while Anna was screaming because mommy wasn't with her. I felt so bad. I was truly embarrassed. My sweet friend and visiting teaching companion were so kind about it all. They were so helpful and concerned. Thankfully I was able to make it home, I was looking pretty pale, and feeling a little faint, but I was fine. Anna went down for a nap and I tried to relax a little. Every time I would try to stand up I would start dropping blood out of me. I don't know if you've ever experienced this before. It is worse than just a super-heavy period. I was losing tons of clumps of blood. It is a strange feeling to have something falling out me that I have no control over. This is the third time I've experienced this. The first was when I went into labor with the twins in 2005 and then again in 2006 when I had my first miscarriage. Anyway, I hope you never have to go through it, it's not fun! One time I stood up in the kitchen and blood fell down my pants to the floor. I was too messy to clean up with wipes so I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me and tried to sneak upstairs without Lily seeing me. That didn't work and she was really concerned about my cut because of the blood all over my legs. I told her I had a little owie and that mommy was fine. After I showered I showed her I wasn't bloody and that I was OK. I hope she isn't permanently scarred from that! I am so glad Ammon was at school. He just thinks mommy is sick. Well, after Anna woke up from her nap I was having a hard time taking care of her and trying to clean up after myself and I was bleeding so much I was spending all my time in the bathroom, but didn't even have the strength to keep doing that. I finally called Adam at 1:30 because I felt like I was starting to pass out. Unfortunately I am far too familiar with the sensations that come right before you pass out, fuzzy feeling in my ears, then they start ringing, the room starts looking fuzzy, and then things turn black and your head feels so strange. Thankfully I made it to the floor before my body forced my there. I started feeling better after laying there for a few minutes. Thank goodness to my sweet Lily. She was such a big helper. She got me everything I needed and was helping me with Anna until Adam made it home. Adam is my hero! I am so thankful for him. He kept calling me all day to see how was doing and I kept telling him I was fine. I told him I'd call him if I passed out. But then when I started feeling like I was going to I realized that it was probably a better idea to call him before I passed out! I am so glad he came home. He was a lifesaver. He took care of the kids, me, cleaned the house, and kept everyone happy. He was super busy at work too so I felt bad for calling him to come home, but he said he was happy to help me because I am more important than his work! I love you Adam! While he was on his way home I called my midwife and she gave me some good tips. I put a pinch of nutmeg under my tongue to help my uterus contract so it would pass everything. I was amazed at how quickly and well it worked. Caution, don't use more than a 1/4 tsp or it will drop your blood pressure and cause lots of problems. I am thankful to my midwives who helped me out. I am also glad I didn't have to go to the hospital and have a D&C. Those are not fun and last time I had one I had an allergic reaction to the general anesthesia and I felt like it took me about two months to get back to normal. I was losing so much blood that I was afraid I might have to go and get one. Thankfully my bleeding started to slow down and so I didn't have to go. I am hoping I have passed everything. Time will tell, but I am feeling so much better today. I still feel a little weak and get lightheaded if I am up for too long, but compared to yesterday I feel awesome! Ammon asked me this morning, "Mommy why aren't you crawling anymore? Are you all better?" He is so sweet. Yes, I did crawl a lot yesterday because I could get around that way without feeling like I was going to pass out and no I am not crawling around today! I am sad I lost the baby, but thankfully neither Adam or I have felt like it was real. Both times I have miscarried I have felt like it wasn't right. I am thankful for those feelings because they help ease the emotional pain that comes with a miscarriage. I honestly am doing fine. I got a little sad today because I looked up the size of an 11 1/2 week fetus and was surprised at how much like a baby it already looks. I need to not waste my time thinking about it because it doesn't help. I am just so thankful for my three beautiful healthy children. They are such a joy and bring me so much happiness. I hugged and kissed them a little tighter yesterday and today. Things like this always make me realize how lucky and blessed I already am. I have everything I could ever ask for. Like the song on my blog by Sarah Maclachlan, Ordinary Miracle, "Life is like a gift they say wrapped up for you everyday...It seems so exceptional that things just work out after all, it's just another ordinary miracle today..." I hope I can get pregnant again, but not until I get back to normal. I have a few gaols, to get in better shape and eat healthier too. I know the better I take care of myself the easier my pregnancy will be and the healthier I eat, I think it decreases my chances for a future miscarriage. Hopefully next time everything will work out and I will be able to make a post with good news about a baby, but for now, all is well and I am happy. Oh, everything came out of my friend's carpet and she brought me dinner too! Thanks Kim!

Mr. Peabody's Apples

How do you get the image of the book on your blog? You'll have to click on the box to see the cover, sorry I am not computer savvy!

The kids and I just read a great book that I wanted to share. Surprisingly it was by Madonna. I was pleased that she wrote a book that actually taught something good. Maybe I am passing judgement on her as she tells us not to in her book? Anyway, this book was awesome and the art work was fantastic! The kids loved the story and the pictures and I loved the message it taught. It tells about Mr. Peabody, who is a teacher and a baseball coach in a small town. Every Saturday after his game he stops at the market and picks a red apple from the stands outside and goes on his way. Well, one day a boy sees him and tells others and they watch the next week and soon all of the town thinks he is a thief and then none of the boys show up for his game on Saturday. He finds out and works it out with the boy. He always pays for his apple on Saturday mornings when he picks up his milk. He teaches the little boy that it would be impossible to undo the damage he caused by what he told the townspeople, just like gathering all the feathers from a torn feather pillow on a windy day. So, be careful of what you say and think of others because you never know their circumstances. I thought it was great advice, thanks Madonna!

Ten Rules of Happiness

1. Develop yourself by self-discipline.
2. Joy comes through creation, sorrow through destruction.
3. Do things which are hard to do.
4. Entertain uplifting thoughts.
5. Do your best this hour, and you will do better the next.
6. Be true to those who trust you.
7. Pray for wisdom, courage, and a kind heart.
8. Give heed to God’s messages.
9. True friends enrich life; if you would have friends, be one.
10. Faith is the foundation of all things, including happiness.
David O. McKay

Canning!

Last week I was super busy trying to can two boxes of delicious Bartlett pears. It was a lot of work, but I really enjoyed it. There is some sense of satisfaction for me in knowing that I did it. I don't have a lot of experience canning, and this was my first time doing pears, but I am happy with my results. Angie I wish you were here and we could have had a blast together. Grandma, I know these don't look as pretty as yours, but I hope they are just as tasty! Thanks for your tips!I ended up making 34 quarts of pears and 12 pints of delicious pear syrup! I got the recipe online at http://www.dianasdesserts.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/recipes.recipeListing/filter/dianas/recipeID/407/Recipe.cfm

For my canned pears I tried using honey instead of sugar for some of them. I haven't tasted them yet, but I hope they will be good. I am sure I will like them because I love honey. I made peach jam a month ago and used apple juice and honey instead of sugar and it turned out wonderfully! Honey is healthier than sugar, and usually replaces it quite well in most recipes(even in zucchini bread)! Thanks Becky for getting me into honey!

Anyway, now that is finished I can get back to my normal routine. I spent 13 or 14 hours last week canning! I am glad it is over, but I honestly had fun doing it! I love fall and I love to be in the kitchen cooking! If you have any good recipes, please send them my way. I am going to start posting some of the new ones I try that I like. Happy Cooking!

Our New Truck!

The kids fixed to the DVD player watching "The Prince of Egypt," on our way up to Mt. Charleston for a fun Sunday drive. Having a little snack and play time in the back of the truck in the mountains. This is now the kids favorite place to play when dad is home. "Mom, can we please go play in the back of dad's truck?!" They are so cute!

OK Adam has always said, "If we had a truck then we could do this, or go there..." meaning, go anywhere we want or do anything we want outdoors. Our van kind of limits our off road experience and towing abilities. So, his dream finally came true. He casually looks once in awhile, so Saturday we decided to just stop at the Toyota dealership and see what they had. We really had no intentions of buying, you know, window shopping... Well, the Toyotas are super nice and were our top pick, but they are a little pricey. They had this 2005 Ford F-150 and it is really nice, lots of extras and they ended up giving us a great deal. We were at the dealership for 5 hours before we decided for sure if we were going to get it, I think that is part of the reason they kept moving the price down for us. Hey, it pays to be unsure! (sometimes). We are glad we bought it. It is really nice, leather, and a DVD system which is of course the kids favorite accessory. We were a little sad to see them drive our Camry away, it is funny how you get attached to your cars, but don't realize it until it is gone. We are certainly very happy with our new truck though, especially Adam. He comes home everyday and says, "I love my truck!" He promised me that the next time we get a new car, it will be mine! Yeah! I do love my van though and am very happy with it. Ammon and Lily always want to ride in the truck when we go anywhere as a family. Can you guess why? Yep, the DVD player. Ammon said yesterday, "Mom, I think it is better for us to drive in the truck because then we don't make a peep and then we don't bother you while you drive." Yes, it is true, but no, we still take the van when we are without daddy. Ammon is a good little persuader. You should listen to him try to get Lily to do what he wants. It is pretty hilarious. He is only six and he already can do that?! OK, so we have a truck, we love it, and we are so happy about it. I hope we have many happy memories to come with it, camping, boating, all the fun stuff...!

Alleluia

Lily just asked me if daddy and I sang allelujiah when she was born. How sweet is that?! I told her we didn't sing those words but that we were so happy and we hugged and kissed her and cried becasue we were so happy. We should sing alleluia everyday because of her though.

Fantastic Buffalos

This morning Lily said, "Mom, Ammon said I am a Webelos." I said, "Well, are you 10? Are you a boy? Are you a scout?" Lily, "No." Me, "Then you are not a Webelos." (Adam is the Webelos leader in the cub scout pack and he took the kids to the pack meeting lastnight.) I told her she could be something. Ammon suggeseted,"How about a buffalo?" Why not?! He is so funny. I asked him what he wanted it to mean. I explained what the scouts are supposed to represent or stand for. He said, "That you are a good person and do good things like the scouts." I thought it was a great idea. So now we are the Buffalos! Look out!

Today while I was putting Anna down for her nap, Lily was in her room playing with her stuffed animals. She sang her self a song for 5 minutes. She made up her own tunes and kept reapeating, "I look fantastic! I look fantastic! I look fantastic! How do I look?..." She is hilarious. When I asked her about it she acted all shy and embarrassed, too cute! You can't tell that we tell her all the time that she is a cutie can you? We are working on good self-esteem.

Princess Quiz

I saw this on another friends blog, thanks Emily F. If you take this quiz, leave a comment and let me know which princess you are. Just curious. Have fun!

You Are Snow White!

Pure and trusting. You are a gentle soul who can get along with just about anyone. Everyone you meet instantly falls in love with you. How can they resist? You have a pure, lovable nature that's irresistable. Just don't trust everyone who comes across your path.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Camping at Lake Mead

Ammon has been begging us to go camping all summer but we kept telling him it was too hot to go. Well, he is all of a sudden way into fishing and really wanted to go. We told him we'd go fishing and camping for Labor Day weekend. We left Friday afternoon and drove out to Stewart's Point, our favorite place to go at Lake Mead. It is quite a ways away, but it is a decent beach and is not crowded. We found a nice little bay to set up our camp. It was soooooo hot! We couldn't wait to get in the water, but we had to set up the tent and build a fire to cook dinner on first. We had hot dogs and yummy fruit salad. Anna loved it. We set up our new tent, yeah! We have all been trying to squish into our old two-man tent for too long. So we upgraded to a six-person! Wow, it felt so huge. I also bought an air mattress, I haven't loved sleeping on the hard ground. Well, by the time we took care of all the necessities it was dark! We decided to still swim. Well, we went to walk out into the water and sank into the mud mid-thigh high, seriously! It made for a pretty hilarious event while holding the baby and it being dark and all. I opted to just stay out after that. Lily, Anna, and I just played on the beach out of the crazy sinking mud. Adam and Ammon walked to the edge of the bay and got in where it was rocky so they wouldn't sink. It was pretty fun, but I was honestly at little scared at the idea of Ammon being out in the water in the pitch black! Adam was right with him though. There is a certain peace that comes from being able to see someone. I feel like I loose an element of control and security when I can't see. Anyway, all went well, and they had a good time swimming.
Anna had thrown all her leftover food onto the floor so there were a crazy amount of bugs and spiders by the cooler where she ate. It was pretty gross. Also, I almost stepped into a black widow's web, with the black widow in the middle of it! Creepy! I like camping, but I hate when it is dark, unless I am in my tent safe and sound, well at least I feel like I am safer. We drenched ourselves in bug spray and sprayed all around the door of the tent too. There were so many bugs and spiders and we did not want them in our tent! So we were all dry and ready for bed. It was so hot I could not sleep and Anna couldn't go to sleep because she wasn't in her crib. She just wanted to play, but she was exhausted. She kept climbing all over the place and she was laughing and then crying, poor thing. She finally feel asleep at the bottom of the tent. So, everyone was asleep but me. I really thought I was going to go crazy because I was so hot. I know I keep saying that, but I don't know if you realize how crazy hot it was! I finally got out of the tent and took a small blanket and some rags down to the lake to get them wet. I was afraid of sinking into the mud again so I got as far as I could and then waited for the waves to wash up far enough that I could dip my rags. It worked, but they were full of sand. I didn't care though. A little sand was better than not having something wet to put on me. I put a rag on each of the kids because they were so sweaty, and then I used the small blanket for me. I was finally able to fall asleep. It is amazing how much a little water helps to cool you down. Poor Anna woke up sometime in the middle of the night and played and cried again. It was a long night! We woke up the to the wind blowing quite hard. We probably got up at 5:45. The sun wasn't up yet, but it was pretty light. It was super windy. You would have thought you were at the ocean with the size of the waves. It was insane! Ammon wanted to go fishing again, so we walked out to the point of the bay. It was even windier there. It was too windy to catch any fish. We had fun trying though. It was great to watch the sun come up and enjoy the beautiful morning. We were the only people around. I loved it.
We packed everything up and then walked over to our favorite point. It is rocky, but makes an awesome beach for swimming and playing. We swam, fished, played, ate lunch and had a blast! Other people started coming out and a few boats eventually came too. The wind had died down and wasn't as crazy as earlier in the morning. It was still windy and the kids had fun with the waves, but it wasn't out of control. We had a great time. Lake Mead is beautiful and camping is so much fun! I would suggest though that if you are going to camp at Lake Mead when the temperatures are over 100 that you only do so if you have air conditioning! Stay in the mountains in the summer if you will use a tent!